Reflections.

Hello world,

I have made what i deem as an incredible decision this morning. That is to be as brutally honest about my thoughts, opinions, religious and political views, hopes, dreams, aspirations, and over all just be “Myself” unphased by what other individual’s (I believe this is self-defense,) opinions or lack there of are at that moment. I am not going to say that i plan on keeping this up my entire life but for the time being I’m going to put my best effort.

In general people are liars. Wether it is a good lie, to protect, assist, move forward, or a bad lie, harm, use, steal, or any other “harmful” act a lie is a lie. To say you don’t lie is a lie in it self. Regardless, humans lie about everything, to me though, the worst one you can portray is to lie about yourself. I that I mean about who you “are” if you have ever noticed people tend to change to make a different impression on people they’re around. whether it be an attraction, feeling of inferiority, shyness, or a multitude of reasons, people hide the “real” them. Not to say I’ve never did this but now i don’t see the point. It’s like a childish thing to do. Feeling ashamed or not good enough is a fictional thing made up in your head. Who says that your good enough or shameful or anything else but you??

This problem has been enhanced by the technological era in which we reside. A lot of individuals in my generation live irrational little lives. I mean think of it there is a show where people “Catfish”. If you don’t know what that means, basically people make a fake self for them to communicate to others and most times people end up heartbroken. It seems sad to me because if everyone wasn’t so caught up with keeping up with society’s rule of whose hot and who is not. My thing is that if you are ashamed of you, how can you gain any real respect, happiness, confidence, connection, and most of all LOVE from someone who is dealing with a facade of a human.

I feel there are three main factors in this mess we call living: Society and it’s expectations, Family and their expectations and structure, and lastly Your personal willingness to grow, learn, change, and be you.

Firstly, society. The most Judgemental, backstabbing and all in all Dishonest factor in life is society. Now if you look on Tv, the internet, newspapers, or any sort of mass media you’ll recognize a pattern. Are there any normal just run of the mill people who really make it. I don’t honestly see why there are any celebrities anywhere. What makes a celebrity? is it appearing in a movie? tv show? I have no clue. but a lot of people around the world are infatuated in another person exactly like themselves but somehow put them on a pedestal. Are willing to spend money on them are don’t feel cheated by these people who made a movie. or appeared on tv. and then in turn end up feeling inadequate or ugly or fat or just not good at all. Don’t get me wrong I myself am attracted to certain Celebs. But I more so am attracted to some of the persona  which they were portraying and hoping that it would be their real selves. Well really I just think that you should do things for you like if your mentally and emotionally, most web relations, go for it. Looks should be low on the list unless you are truly a vain person. I mean looks help but they are not what creates people or real connections.

Family. Now I know it’s harmful to let down your family, and very hard not to be what they want you to be. especially if your culture is different from american culture. I have a massive respect for other cultures and religious views. Sometimes if feel that american culture is so materialized that anyone that doesn’t go outside the “box” and look will be turned to a Stepford Wife type of person. Family is hard to let down whether it be your career choice, schooling, or sexual preference there are things you’re going to have to deal with. and if you don’t want to “let them down” you again create a Facade. I know from personal experience that family has a drastic impact on the values you take with you in life. but you can also despise something about your life because of family. Family is a touchy subject.

Now lastly it is you…or me.. that has to make a decision. Do you know who you are? My answer is Yes. I know what I like. what I don’t. who I see as attractive and intellectual and worth my time. who I wouldn’t want to spend one minute around and who I feel I’d spend an eternity at this point. I hope to meet others that I can share an intimate or just causal friendship with.. Who I look up to and cherish. who I despise. The hardest part though is expressing all these things without sugar-coating, faking, or just lying about anything. And not putting on a mask or shield. I know my thoughts are written wildly. But the main point is just to be….MYSELF… or in your case…YOU. No faking it.

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